You're Amazing! a.k.a. I'm CRAZY ...

The other day my friend Sheila left me a message on facebook after reading my novel. She liked it (Thanks Sheila!) and went on to comment that she was amazed at how many different things I manage to do.  "You're amazing! How do you find the time?" she said.

Hmmm... let me see. Time? What's that?  Amazing? I don't think so.  Downright CRAZY is probably more like it.  Okay, I know what you're thinking. We're all busy people, right? But there is a difference in keeping busy and just being stupid! Stupid is not saying 'No' when you really know you can not possibly squeeze one more thing into your life. Stupid is trying to please everybody all of the time when we all know that it's virtually impossible to do so. Stupid is how I feel on occassion (like now :) when I should be finishing up my report cards instead of writing on my blog!

Yeah, that's right. I'm procrastinating again.  It's report card time, and as you may know, I'm a High School teacher and all my lovely students are eagerly awaiting their report cards so they can get extra cash if they make it onto the honor role. It's where I'm headed after this to burn the midnight oil.

Let me fill you in on my other acts of stupidity.  I'm currently directing my troupe of 25 teens 3 times a week in preparation for our 'One Act Play' extravanganza coming up on June 9 and 10. (TV parodies, mostly written by them - it's hilarious!)  I've got an Art Exhibit coming up during the last two weeks of June - kind of my first showing here in Tumbler Ridge, so it's a compilation of old and new work. I've pretty much taken over leading worship each week at the church since most of the music team left several months ago after a nasty split. (Christians these days!) I'm still trying my 'darndest' to network and promote my book like a good author should. (Some good news on that front. I have had interest from a Christian TV network that might want to have me on their show this summer. More on that if it turns out :)  I've also been sending out lots of proposals for other writing, and have had some positive response on several fronts... Did I mention that I work full time?!?! And as anybody knows who has had anything to do with teaching, your job definitely does not end at 3:00! (Someone said that to me once.  WHAT?!?!) Oh, and here's the clincher!  Can you believe I agreed to act in a play at the end of May?  A director friend asked me if I could understudy for this one minor part. Like the sucker I am, I said, "Sure, no problem."  Guess what?  The other person can't make it to the final performance on May 29th! So now I'm scrambling to learn my lines and fit in a few rehearsals - did I mention MINOR PART, MY FOOT?! It's actually quite a funny play and I get to play a cranky old woman :) I haven't done too much acting lately, so it'll be fun, but, oh!  Where can I find the time?

Suck it up, you say.  Quit agreeing to everything. It's your own fault if you over commit.  You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now. It's one reason I like teaching as a profession - I look forward to my sanity break every summer.  Except ... this year I have a reunion, a family wedding, and possible book related business to fit in. Sigh!  Such is life - my life, anyway. But when I think about it, I've been doing these same kinds of things for ... well, forever. It must be the way I like it.  Say, I am pretty amazing, after all!  :)

God Pleaser

As I press onward in my quest to become the person God wants me to be, I can’t help but reflect on how gracious God really is. I am hard-wired to be creative – writing, painting, playing music, directing for the theatre … these are a just a few of my passions. Sometimes, however, I get annoyed when I have to do all those other things that continually take my time and attention away from what I love. I get angry when it seems like people don’t appreciate all my efforts. I get impatient when my writing career isn’t progressing as fast as I would like it to. I get discouraged when I get another rejection letter for a manuscript I’ve sent in for perusal.
Then I have to stop and ask myself. Why do I write? Why do I paint? Why do I do any of the things that I pour my heart into? The bottom line is, I do it because I love to do it. It’s the way God made me – with a desire to constantly be in ‘create’ mode. But ultimately, that need to create, no matter in what form, needs to be a reflection of the Creator Himself.
Now, I’m not talking about always including ‘religious’ symbolism in my work. I don’t think that is necessary. Creation itself speaks about God’s glory, but there isn’t a placard anywhere saying “Made by God”. Similarly, whatever I do, be it direct a secular play, write a novel, or paint a picture, it must be reflective of who I am as a unique individual created in the image of God. Also, I must remain true to the calling that I feel on my life. No watered down ‘pansy’ work for me! I’m just not that inspired by anything too sentimental or flowery. Some people (like my husband) might like to tease me and say I’m a bit of a cynic – maybe even a rebel, but I’m really not the romantic type, even though, I write Romantic Suspense.

Once quite a few years ago, I entered a juried art show with some Intaglio prints I had made. All of the subject matter was quite melancholy, I suppose… certainly the color pallette was mostly black. In any case, the juror asked me if I was depressed, which made me laugh because nothing could be further from the truth! I feel very content and satisfied with my life, (and did back then, too!) but I have always been fascinated by the deeper, darker side of the human psyche. It’s why I love Shakespeare’s tragedies, like twisted stories (’The Lottery’ by Shirley Jackson is the BEST STORY EVER WRITTEN!) and admire artists like Kathe Kollwitz. I’d far rather watch a Sci-fi flick than a romance (especially the ’sappy’ kind – sorry, but I do not care for ‘the tear jerker’!) and quite frankly, much of the Christian fiction out there – especially that written for women, just makes me want to roll my eyes.

It’s why I feel there is a market out there for the kind of Christian literature that I write and try to market. I like a story with a little bit of an edge – something slightly unexpected and that contains characters that are ‘real’, with their less than perfect flaws and all. At one time I felt apologetic for my tastes and interests, (Well, maybe not, but it makes me feel good to say so …) but I have long since given up trying to please every one all the time. I am a former Pastor’s wife who has a few piercings, likes loud rock music and Sci-fi and enjoys hanging out with ‘theatre people’ and artists – those edgy types who don’t speak ‘Christian-ese’ and who might have a few shocking habits.

I am grateful for a husband who loves me for who I am, ideosyncracies and all, and for children who have learned to stand up for themselves as individuals while maintianing their faith in Christ. Which brings me back to my first point. I am grateful for God’s blessings, especially in regard to making me the way I am. I am so blessed to be able to love and worship Him in freedom, without fear that I am ‘doing it wrong’. I am who I am and God made me that way. As long as I keep my eyes fixed on Him, I need not worry about trying to please another.

Medieval Mayhem!

Troupadours, Jesters, Knights and Ladies! My Grade 8 class had lots of fun today as we held our annual 'Medieval Feast'. Since I'm a Drama enthusiast, I always enjoy putting on these types of events as part of our regular studies. We had just finished a unit on Medieval Europe, and so, once again, I opened up my costume room and let my students transform themselves into various characters from the Middle Ages. Those who wished to be the entertainment got to choose their characters first, (We had a juggler, a court jester and 2 troupadours who performed an original 'rap' about the period. It was lots of fun!) Then the rest of the characters (King, Queen, Knights, Ladies, Servants, Ewerers and Panter - the King's personal servant) were chosen out of a hat. It was a good lesson that people could not always choose their own destiny back then. The Herald, Trumpeter and Drummer were chosen for their 'skills', since it was their job to announce the guests, the entertainment and every course of the meal
Thankfully, I had lots of support from other staff members, so I was able to do a lot of the preparations during my other regular classes. We transformed my classroom into a banquet hall, which included Coats of Arms the kids had made, various banners and 'parchment' documents, a head table and U-shaped tables for the 'Nobility'. We tried to stick to a strickly Medieval menu, using pita bread for plates (which could then be given to the poor!) and eating with their hands. Unfortunately, I burnt the pottage, but I don't think anyone even noticed.
Another staff member took some pictures, since I usually forget to do that, but I didn't have anything to post along with this yet. Maybe I'll add them later if I get some. Anyway, it was a great way to spend an afternoon with thirty-one 13 to 14 year olds! They were very excited and I'm sure it will help cement the lessons learned about the Middle Ages in their minds for years to come.

It's Magic!

John Kaplan, a magician from Vancouver, 'wowed' us with his illusions at last night's fundraiser sponsored by my Drama Club. It was a very successful show with a really great turn out. Besides making some money to help us fund our upcoming spring show, it was great PR and a fantastic community event. (I'm sounding like a newspaper here!)
I work with about 25 teenagers three times a week after school. We usually put on two shows a year - one either at Christmas or right after in January, and then one in late May or early June. Our winter show is usually a longer Two Act affair, often with some musical elements, where as the spring show is usually a little lighter with a compilation of shorter One Act plays and skits. It's something I've been doing for about nine years, now. It is a huge amount of work, and I don't get paid to do it, but I must love it because, even after I swear I'm going to scale back, I'm right back at it again every spring and fall! It's all part of that need to be creative, I guess, and theatre offers such a wide and exciting way to express oneself.
I often write many of the plays I produce because I can tailor make them for each particular group of kids. I'm currently in the process of trying to find a publisher for some of them because I have accumulated quite a collection over the past nine years. (And I think they're pretty good!) Most of them are comedies, often based on a familiar fairy tale or story, although I have done a couple of plays that were a bit more on the serious side with some more mature subject matter.
Last January my troupe put on a musical version of 'Robin Hood' which met with great reviews. This coming June we are putting together a farcical look at TV programs. It should be fun and I'll keep you posted on the developments as they occur.
One of our biggest challenges, and the reason we needed to fundraise, is that my current school does not have any type of performance space and very little technical equipment. Any equipment we do have is my own that I brought with me when I moved here. This means that we have to rent equipment, rent a stage, and set it all up in the gymnasium just days before the show since the regular PE classes need the gym. It is a less than satisfactory situation, especially since I am used to the beautiful and fully equipped theatre that I had access to at my last school.
But what we lack in equipment and space, we make up for in enthusiasm! The kids I currently work with are so keen and they really are a pleasure to work with. I guess it's one of the reasons I keep coming back for more.

Writers - Be Professional!

I posted a while back on my belief that editing is a no brainer for any serious author. We just can’t catch all of our own mistakes, and we tend to be so closely tied to our own thoughts that sometimes we just don’t see them, no matter how many times we read something over. Add to that our emotional attachment to what we’ve written, and the necessity for some objectivity becomes clear. This does not mean, however, that we should lose our distinctive voice. My posts “Be True to Yourself” and “Sticking With the Edgy” addressed that quite thoroughly. In a mass marketed world, it takes guts and also some innovation to stand out above the crowd.
What has come to my attention recently, however, is that some writers-turned-bloggers are drawing some attention, but perhaps not in the way that was intended. Now maybe this is just the English teacher in me rising up to wag a finger, but I have noticed that many blogs I’ve visited are riddled – and I mean RIDDLED – with errors. Grammar, punctuation, mechanics, usage, sentence structure … you name it, it’s out there.
Now before you go and get all defensive on me, let me just say that nobody’s perfect. I realize that. I often catch typos in my own blogs that I missed during the preview, and I usually try to go back and fix them once I’ve caught them. Just the other day, my friend emailed me in response to a message I had sent out via ‘mass’ email. She asked, “Did you really mean ‘I get by with a little help from my firends’???” Of course, I MEANT to say ‘friends’, but sometimes the fingers go faster than the brain! My response to her (since she’s a bit of a satirist and enjoys a joke ) was that I was talking about the ‘fire’ under their a**’s …
You get my point. We all do it ’cause we’re all human. However, when it comes to obvious MISTAKES, I think we, as writers, owe it to ourselves to proofread before we post. Honestly, my thought upon reading some of these sub standard posts is, “Really? This person is supposed to be an author?” Call me crazy, but my understanding of being an author means you actually know how to write! (Am I being too harsh here? Sorry! But suck it up!) If you expect people to take you seriously as a writer, you should be putting your best foot forward, especially when networking is supposed to be such an important part of marketing for any writer. If this is where people are going to hear your voice as an author, at least present yourself in the best light possible.
Okay, okay … I realize we can hire professional editors for these things (going back to my original advice) and I also realize that some so called MISTAKES can be very effective when used intentionally for effect. The fragment, for example. (See. I just used one.) Like I tell many of my students, “Once you’ve mastered the rules, then and only then, can you break them.” The same thing goes for run on sentences, which are, admittedly, much more difficult to use effectively, but can be, none the less, once you understand what you’re doing. Some mistakes, however, are just inexcusable. (I looked that word up, by the way, to make sure I spelled it right!) It makes your writing look and sound bad, and therefore reflects poorly on YOU as an author.
All you writer/bloggers out there – proofread your work! Be professional.

Fishing without a pole

Spring is definitely in the air and with it a refreshed sense of the creative spirit. Even though my husband likes to tease that he is an "out door guy with an indoor family", I really do find that I feel more inspired to pursue my creative interests come spring. He's right , to a degree. I don't necessarily love nature for nature's sake, but I do love the way that nature can make me feel inspired to write, paint, draw ... I guess it's just the way that each of us are hard wired differently. One of his favorite 'stories' to tell (at my expense) is the time we went on a fly-in fishing trip with another couple. We were living in the Yukon at the time and had been part of a curling league during the winter. Our team took second place at the annual bonspiel, and much to everyone's delight, the prize was a weekend fly-in fishing trip at a remote lake in the Yukon.

Now, let me digress slightly to say that I DO NOT enjoy fishing. Period. This dates back to some other rather harrowing experiences my husband has subjected me to over the years, but that is another story. Anyway, off we went in the float plane (2 at a time) for an hours plane ride to this pristine wilderness location north of 60. My husband and our friends, Ron & Sheila, couldn't wait to get out in the boat. I, on the other hand, had no intentions of fishing! For me, this was going to be an all expenses paid creative retreat. I arrived with my lap top, water color set and sketch pad, ready to go.

I thoroughly enjoyed two and a half glorious days sketching by the dock, clacking away at my computer, and generally lounging about, with no phone, no kids, and no meals to prepare. Heaven! I did go out for a boat ride a couple of times, but for me, the inspiration of the scenery and the peaceful surroundings away from the business of life was exactly what I needed. So go ahead and mock, oh husband dearest! We all had a fabulous time doing what we love best, and you gained a great story to tell to boot.

Be True to Yourself

Creativity can sometimes be a bit of a paradox. I love to engage in many forms of self expression, and this past weekend I had three pieces of original art entered in a regional juried art exhibit. (Peace Liard Regional Arts Council's Annual Juried Art show) In any case, the artists involved were invited to a walking tour of the exhibit with the adjudicators so that we could have our pieces critiqued. This can be a very valuable process, similar to having someone edit your writing. Sometimes we just don't see our own work objectively and it is nice to get an expert's opinion so that we can potentially grow as an artist.

As expected, the adjudicators had a lot of valuable info to share, but more than once I was thrown off guard by comments that seemed very narrow and almost old fashioned. I couldn't help but think about what the critics of Van Gogh's day had to say about his work. (Or that of the Impressionists, for that matter.) They found all kinds of fault in both these examples, because the art didn't fit into what they had constructed as acceptible norms. Seems things haven't changed all that much. Quite often during the walk through, the critics were more concerned about 'the correct way' of execution, than about seeing the intent behind the work. After the second such comment, or so, I quite frankly found it difficult to take their comments with the amount of respect I probably should have. As an artist and a long time teacher of art myself, I have come to see the MESSAGE or purpose behind the art to be of as much or more value than a simple critique of the elements. As the saying goes, the whole is always worth more than the sum of its parts.

Here is where I hope to draw an analogy to another of my creative passions, writing. I also teach English at the High School level, and I always tell my students that they do NOT have license to break the 'rules' - grammar, punctuation, sentence structure - until they can demonstrate that they understand them. But, once a writer has reached a certain level of proficiency, bending and even breaking the rules can be the difference between a run of the mill story and one with lasting impact. We have all read exciting, well written fiction that is FULL of fragments, for instance, but the use of such 'mistakes' is what gives the work its edge. If everything had been grammatically correct it probably wouldn't have the same impact. Does this mean the writer doesn't understand proper usage and grammar? I should hope not! The author knew exactly what he/she was doing and was able to use these 'mistakes' to effectively enhance the work.

Back to the Art Exhibit. Does the fact that the artist makes unexpected compositional choices, or unusual color combinations mean the painting is done 'wrong'? I should hope not! In many of the cases that set me off on this blog in the first place, the very criticism made by the 'experts' was what I found appealing! The surprise elements, use of uncomfortable juxtapositions, or even compositional 'mistakes' gave these pieces an excitement and edginess that playing it safe (and correct) would not have. I was flummoxed on more than one occassion, I can tell you, especially when the reference to 'reality' kept coming up over and over again. I thought we'd gotten way past that thanks to Picasso & Co. (Example: "You'd never find mushrooms and that type of vine together in nature" - WHAT?!?! The piece was about an Elfin environment for goodness sake! Who said it was SUPPOSED to look real?!?! Or - "I'm uncomfortable with the position of the bull. It looks unnatural and I wouldn't want it in my house ..." WHAT?!?! It was a raging, snorting bull coming straight at you out of the painting! You're not supposed to feel comfortable!!!)

Okay. Enough ranting. You get the picture. (No pun intended.) I appreciated the technical criticisms on one of myown pieces, although, like much of the artwork, I think they missed the intent. So what's the point I am trying to make? I guess it's just the paradox of this whole creativity thing. On the one hand, we are encouraged to tap into our own uniqueness. Don't do something that everyone else is doing. Be an individual. Express yourself. Wait ... but stick to this rule ... and this rule ... oh, and this one, too. It's really important.

My advise? Don't be afraid to step outside the box. If you like what you've created and it makes you happy, then, really, what else is there? Even if you don't get the 'praise' of the current set of 'fashion police', you'll be happier in the end. In Shakepeare's words, "To thine own self be true."

There Must Be A Reason

It's Easter weekend, and as I prepare for church, I can't help but reflect on the wonder of the resurrection. I'm so glad it really happened (if you read an earlier blog where I review the book "A Skeleton In God's Closet" you'll know why this seems especially significant this year!) But it also makes me think about priorities - in particular my own. So much time is spent on meaningless tasks, or so it would seem. Which means when it comes to the things that I deem important, a.k.a. those things I look forward to each day, I must stop and ask myself "Why?" Why do I write? Why do I love the creative process? What drives me to constantly have a 'project', be it a painting, a play I am directing, or a manuscript?

Firstly, I suppose, the answer is because that's what gives me energy. It's what 'fills my tank', so to speak. I need to be creative in order to feel fulfilled, and I've come to realize that this is the way God wired me from the beginning - not such a bad thing when I consider I am emulating the greatest Creator of all.

But beyond my compulsions, I see the need to express the love of the Creator through my efforts. It's not enough to write a really great book or paint a nice picture. The end product should reflect, in some way, the awesome love and power of Christ. Does this mean every thing I write must preach a sermon, or every painting must depict a moral lesson? I should hope not! God himself is much more subtle than that. The Bible states that creation is a testament to God - we can see His majesty and His handiwork just by observing what He made. But as far as I know, the rocks haven't actually cried out yet.

So it should be with every thing I put my hand to. Even the mundane should be done in such a way as to bring glory to God, if that were possible. I know I fall very, very short of this, but I can at least purpose to do so in my creative efforts, especially in my writing. Beyond the need to create or the desire to tell a story, I want to focus on the One who truly is my life line. The real reason - the purpose - of my writing should be to elevate Jesus. If I can do this, without being preachy, then I will have accomplished what I set out to do.

Just A Little On The Edge

Last night I received a response to one of many manuscripts I am currently pitching. It was to a more traditional Christian Romance Agency which shall remain unnamed, but it was quite critical. (So what else is new? We authors have to get thick skinned to take all the criticism, which by the way, is usually for our own good.) Anyway, after the initial piercing rejection, I got to thinking how much I appreciated the verification. You see, even though I have been a "Pastor's wife" I never quite fit into the stereotypic mold. I mean, I like rock music, have a few piercings, and love Sci-fi. (Oh, and I don't bake!) Most of the criticism was directed toward the main character, whom she characterized as negative, unsympathetic and judgmental - NOT the kind of hero that should appear in the pages of one of their books. I thought to myself, "Yeah ... that was the point. He is SUPPOSED to be all those things." You see, although I know there is a place for light, fluffy, feel good romance, that's just not the kind of writing (or reading) that appeals to me. I like something a little bit more on the edge. Something REAL that speaks to ALL aspects of human emotion, and doesn't necessarily turn out "happily ever after." Of course, I do want my writing to reflect my faith and to point people in the direction of the ONE who ultimately can make the difference, but for me, the reality of being a follower of Christ does not mean I will be skipping through the park with a picnic basket for the rest of my life. I want to be current; to make real connections with people on a deeper level, and maybe even raise a few eyebrows while doing it. The Church isn't the same as it was ten, twenty or thirty years ago. Society has changed, and although the MESSAGE shouldn't change, the way we go about delivering it should. Thus, I see a need for Christian fiction to move forward as well. Thus, I'm glad that my critic saw the 'edginess' in what I wrote. It's exactly what I was going for. I feel validated in moving forward with my own voice, not that of someone whom I am not. I know there is an audience out there for my brand of Christian fiction, even if it's a tad on the edge at times.